I struggled in the younger years with “Ugly Duckling Syndrome”. I wore thick glasses, I was a band geek, played softball, took ballet in my elementary days, ran track, I was in Girl Scouts, Youth Choir, and I even got stood up for prom. I was a joke. When I arrived in college I was still finding myself. I was considered as misunderstood. I started to break out of my shell in college. I didn’t know who I was.
I was never caught wearing a swimsuit because I was self-conscience of my body. I came from a Southern Baptist family who was against females exploiting their bodies. I always wanted acceptance. Yeah, I’m guilty of sporting the Hammer pants in the late 80’s.
I use to look at other peoples' lives who were rich and popular in school, they seemed to have it all. It just seemed like to me, these people were easily accepted in society. And that’s who I wanted to be. When I moved to California, I learned that being different was a good thing. I learned some people really do judge a book by its cover. I also took a gang of acting classes in college. In my acting classes they had acting cliques. And I just didn't like that. One day I decided to go to a model call.
I saw a few people from MTSU there. I can remember a few people from my college laughing at me when I walked through the door. They said, “Come here girl”? Where are you going? I told them I was auditioning like them for modeling and they just laughed at me and said, “You need to go back to campus, because they are not going to pick you, your not model material?” Then they showed me these magazines of how models looked and posed. And to me that was an insult. So, I just gave up on modeling all together and focused on acting and news anchoring.
My hopes went downhill trying to be a news reporter because a professor at MTSU discouraged me. I said to myself, I have nothing else left here, I needed a change. Tennessee is my home, but there comes a time when a bird has to spread its wings. When I moved to California everything changed. I was all on my own. No family, I had to re-adjust. All I had was my drive, my car, and some new people I had met.
I experienced being homeless and living pay check to paycheck, trying to pursue acting. I ran into people who said I wasn't going to make it, "Whatevah".. In summer of 2005, modeling came knocking at my door. I gave it a chance for a second time and I was surprised, telling myself, “People actually want me to model, and 3-6 years ago no one wanted me to be in their presence” And I’m very happy about my decisions I made.
Thanks to Myspace that's how my modeling career started. In August 2005 Photographer
Paul Lawson gave me my 1st magazine shoot for Black Professionals Magazine,
which was a 2 page spread. I was soo happy my dreams were starting to happen.
I wouldn't trade it for the world.
-Cantria